England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Q: What is fast and crunchy?
A: A rocket chip.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds.
One of the boys said, "What is that?"
"They're smart pills," said the other boy.
"Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, "These taste like crap."
"See," said the other boy, "you're getting smarter already."
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Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".