Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce.
"I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
Q: What is height of Honesty?
A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Yo momma’s so ugly, her pillows cry at night.
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure."
Friend: "What do you do?"
Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea?
A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Two skunks were being chased by a bear.
As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said "Whatever shall we do?"
"Let us spray!" replied the other.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.