Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Q: Why do dogs lick their balls?
A: Because they can.
Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches?
A: Same reason.
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?"
Husband: "Yeah... Why?"
Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
Q: Whats the definition of vagina?
A: The box a penis comes in.
She’s like train tracks – she’s been laid across the country.
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl.
One day she told him that the next day was her birthday.
He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
‘Doctor, I suffer from premature ejaculation.
Can you help me?!’
‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
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Yo mama so ugly she made santa say ho ho ho.
Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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