Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar.
After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"
The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..."
"Depends on what?" he asks.
"On my bottom - where else?!"
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Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
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A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it."
-People
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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Q: Why do women have arms?
A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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