Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
Why shouldn't white people go swimming?
Because crackers get soggy when wet.
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it."
-People
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
Vote:
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date.
They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start.
The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand.
Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound.
The film began but the silence continued.
Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
Vote:
Q: Why do women have arms?
A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
Vote:
A Chinese man came home after a late night of drinking, and crawls in bed next to his sleeping wife.
After lying awake for a few minutes, he wakes up his wife and says "Hey honey, wanna do a sixty-nine?"
"Well, you've got a lot of nerve! First you come home late, you're drunk, and now you expect me to go to the kitchin and fix you Mongolian beef with snow-peas!"
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data