Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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A Chinese man came home after a late night of drinking, and crawls in bed next to his sleeping wife.
After lying awake for a few minutes, he wakes up his wife and says "Hey honey, wanna do a sixty-nine?"
"Well, you've got a lot of nerve! First you come home late, you're drunk, and now you expect me to go to the kitchin and fix you Mongolian beef with snow-peas!"
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date.
They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start.
The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand.
Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound.
The film began but the silence continued.
Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
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Q: Why do women have arms?
A: Have you any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?
We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
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A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Ramu: Shamu!