The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.
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What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
Chuck Norris' shadow stays ten steps behind him in fear of a roundhouse kick.
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Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer.
Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?"
Customer says "bourbon and coke."
Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?"
He says nods his head yes.
10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure."
Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?"
And customer nods yes.
Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that."
Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
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Joke has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy.
All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand.
She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom.
"Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!"
"I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
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I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."