Best jokes ever

Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer. Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?" Customer says "bourbon and coke." Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?" He says nods his head yes. 10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure." Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?" And customer nods yes. Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that." Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, party
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, terrorist
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible
What do you call a group of blondes on roller skates? A mobile sperm bank!
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework? A: A firequaker!
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has 56.61 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: bird, duck
Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected. He knows the unexpected.
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has 56.61 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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has 56.61 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
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has 56.59 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, health, little Johnny, women
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: 'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes. Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?' Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.' Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?' Pharmacist: 'All kinds.' Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? ' Pharmacist: 'Definitely.' Jacob: 'How about Viagra?' Pharmacist: 'Of course.' Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?' Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.' Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?' Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.' Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?' Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.' Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'
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has 56.59 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, medical, wedding
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