Best jokes ever

Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and a sh*thead? A: Depth perception.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, men
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels. "Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere.I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done." "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Patient: "Doctor, I feel there are two of me." Doctor: "Very well, I shall see you, one at a time."
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, men
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, men, wine, work
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