You know who's mad at Kobe?
Every other player in the NBA.
You know why?
Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring.
Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum.
Cause you know how women are, man.
Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Vote:
Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
Vote:
Inside a Best Buy store.
Customer: "Can you help me? I'm looking for a shredder."
Coworker: "We have all types of shredders. What will you be shredding primarily?"
Customer: "Collard greens."
Vote:
Yo mama so fat when she looks in the mirror the mirror said: "oh no get out the way."
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Lebron better than Jordan?
Ha! Yea right.
Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
Vote:
What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.