Best jokes ever

Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: life, love, math, nerd
Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent. "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: sex
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico. They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them. As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river. One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light." The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, mexican
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo mamma so black when she gets in the car the oil light turns on.
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, racist, Yo mama
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove. "Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?" "I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno." "I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history." "Do you have Shakespeare in English?"
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, dinosaur, stupid
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