Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, Tom, gave me £15,000. And you, Harry, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide this case solely on its merits.’
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.