Best jokes ever

Yo mamma so stupid she brought a spoon to a super bowl and the fat one brought a bowl.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, Tom, gave me £15,000. And you, Harry, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide this case solely on its merits.’
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Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama? A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
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Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
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There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, health, kids
Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, math, Yo mama