Best jokes ever

A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
Vote: has 58.98 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Vote: has 58.98 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Vote: has 58.98 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, science
Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?" And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
Vote: has 58.91 % from 177 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, god
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, insulting, Yo mama
A beautiful woman sits next to a drunk in a bar. He turns to her and says, ‘Hey, honey. How about you and me getting it on? I’ve got a couple of pounds and it looks like you could use the money.’ The woman turns to him and says, ‘What makes you think I charge by the inch?’
Vote: has 58.80 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, game
One day, a blonde goes into a store. She gets an item and walks up to the cashier. She says,"I'd like to buy this TV". He says,"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes". The next day, she dyes her hair red and goes back in the store, but the same thing happens. Finally, she shaves her head and goes back in. When she tries to buy it for the third time, the man refuses. She says, "How the hell do you know I'm blonde?". He replied, "First of all, that's a microwave."
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, ginger
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop? A: To let the lumber jack off.
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, phone, wife