Best jokes ever

If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
has 61.15 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: democrat, light bulb, political, racist
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
has 61.10 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: animal, mechanic, racist
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
has 61.09 % from 950 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, racist
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
has 61.06 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
has 61.05 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.
has 61.01 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: insulting, vulgar, weed, Yo mama
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "Your dog can't swim!"
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: sport
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology
More jokes →
Page 736 of 1391.