Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.

In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.

Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.

Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.

Dogs may shed, but cats shred.

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?" Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?" Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…" "Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"

Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.

Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.