Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th? Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.