Q:What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A:"Please, no stories!"
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.
Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."
George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."
Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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What do u call a Mexican getting baptized?
Bean dip.
Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar.
After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"
The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..."
"Depends on what?" he asks.
"On my bottom - where else?!"
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I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight...
But honey, what about our kid?
What kid?
So you are not you pregnant?!
Black Jesus turns water into Kool-Aid.
Q:Where does a mexican shop for books?
A: Borders
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
Why did the semen cross the road?
Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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