Q: How do you get 15,000 followers?
A: Run through Africa with a water bottle.
Vote:
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
Vote:
Doctor, my husband is 300% impotent.
"I'm not quite sure what you mean.
Could you elaborate?"
"Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’
Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Vote:
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
Vote:
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff?
Tequila
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico.
They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them.
As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river.
One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light."
The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"