Best jokes ever

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Vote:
has 82.72 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: IT
A wife told his husband to whisper her dirty things, the man then replied, "The kitchen, the living room, the conservatory and the dining room."
Vote:
has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: life
Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
Vote:
has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?" "Neither. He’s bald."
Vote:
has 82.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Vote:
has 82.69 % from 401 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, little Johnny, teacher
A state trooper pulls over a car for speeding and the female driver says "I guess you want to sell me some tickets to the Trooper's Ball?" The trooper responded, "Troopers don't have balls, ma'am." After he realized what he said, he simply walked back to his car and drove away.
Vote:
has 82.68 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Vote:
has 82.68 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
Vote:
has 82.67 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
An elderly man 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summons the three most important people in his life to tell. 1. His Doctor 2. His Priest 3. His Lawyer "Well today I found out I don’t have long to live. So I asked you three here, because your the most important people in my life. And I need to ask a favour. Today I am going to give each of you and envelope with $50,000 dollars in it. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money in my grave." Well a few days later the man passed on, The doctor said, "I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money, he owed me lots of medical bills. But I threw the other $35,000 in." The Priest said, "I have to admit also I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. Its all going to a good cause. And I threw the rest in." Well the Lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing, "I am surprised at you two. I wrote a check for the whole amount and threw it in."
Vote:
has 82.67 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, lawyer, life, old people
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
Vote:
has 82.66 % from 375 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, teacher
<<<75767778
More jokes →
Page 75 of 1429.