Best jokes ever

Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
Vote: has 82.32 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, doctor, health, hospital, life
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
Vote: has 82.32 % from 380 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, money
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
A girl walks into a grocery store and asks the stock boy if he has any nuts. The guy says, "No, ma'am." She says, "Well, do you have any dates?" And he says, "Ma'am, if I don't have nuts, do you really expect me to have dates?"
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, life
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love? A: "Honey, I'm home."
Vote: has 82.30 % from 235 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Vote: has 82.29 % from 273 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Roses are red violets are blue I have 5 fingers the middle one for you.
Vote: has 82.28 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, poems