Best jokes ever

Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Vote: has 82.77 % from 371 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, dirty, game, history
Teeth says to tongue: if I just press a little, you'll get cut. Tongue replies: if i misuse a single word, all 32 of you will come out.
Vote: has 82.74 % from 228 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Mom: What did you do at school today? Mark: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Mark: That’s right!
Vote: has 82.73 % from 306 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school
Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. "What denomination?" asks the postal clerk. Mary thinks a second before replying, "Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."
Vote: has 82.72 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn't have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me.
Vote: has 82.72 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, cop, driving
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
Vote: has 82.72 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, lawyer
Three women are discussing their teenage daughters. The first declares: “I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter”s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn’t even know that she smoked!” “It gets worse than that,” says the second mother. “I was tidying my daughter”s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn’t even know that she drank!” “Oh, it gets even worse than that,” says the third mother. “I was tidying my daughter”s room last week and you”ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn’t even know that she had a penis!”
Vote: has 82.72 % from 141 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, kids, teen, women
A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. "Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
Vote: has 82.72 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Vote: has 82.72 % from 168 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: military
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
Vote: has 82.71 % from 325 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, fart, food


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