Worst way to ask for anal:
"Aww come on...I bet my dick is tiny compared to some of the shits you've taken!"
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Vote:
Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
A: The cost.
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Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.
On the beach, how can you recognise a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll?
He doesn’t stare at the bikinis, he stares at the beach balls.
Q: How do you piss off a white person?
A: Call him a racist.
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
A man calls a lawyer’s office.
A voice answers, ‘Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz.’
The man says, ‘Let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’
‘I’m sorry, he’s on vacation.’
‘Then let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’
‘He’s on a big case, not available for a week.’
‘Then let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’
‘He’s playing golf today.’
‘Okay, then, let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘Speaking.’