Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Jerry is charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquits him.
Later that day Jerry comes back to speak to the judge that tried his case.
‘Your Honour,’ he says. ‘I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.’
‘Why?’ asks the judge.
‘He won your acquittal.
Why do you want to have him arrested?’
Jerry replies, ‘I didn’t have the money to pay his fee, so the bastard went and took the car I stole.’
Without you I can't breath.
I love you so much my nose.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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