A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
Q: How do you piss off a man? A: Stand on his back and piss.
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"