Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
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How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock.
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people?
Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?"
Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
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A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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