4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!
Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
Why shouldn't white people go swimming? Because crackers get soggy when wet.
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch and rings.