Joke #8459

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class." The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?" The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the North side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.

Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter! March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets! June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it? October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone! What a year!

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'

Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk. The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before." The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"

How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.