Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jars. 
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Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
A blond whines at her mother:
Mother, I’m impregnate!
What?
Where the hell was you’re head?
What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
"Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.
Three blondes enter a bar.
They are happy, dancing and singing.
The barman asks them:
What are you girls celebrating?
We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish.
So? The barman asks.
On the box wrought 2-4 years!
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde robbed a supermarket.
While the robbery was in progress, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening.
He dashed toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store.
There they found three sacks to hide in.
When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack.
He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow" in a high voice.
The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next.
When he kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice.
The officer determines that it must only be a dog in that bag, so he moves on to the last bag.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the officer.
Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
A: "Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
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