"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?" "I can't help it, I'm hooked."
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?" Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.