Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?
It's ass.
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know."
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle.
She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car.
Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?"
His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
Two blondes are walking down the street.
One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first Blonde hands her the compact.
She looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.