Yo' Mama is so stupid, she invented a ventilated condom.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she can sit on a lollipop and guess its flavor.
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Vote:
Lady goes to her doc.
"Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type.
The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
Two protons walk into the bar and run into each other.
One of them falls down.
"Are you OK?" asks the other.
"I think so," says the proton.
"You sure?" the other asks.
"Yeah," says the proton..."I'm positive."
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while."
The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."
Cessna pilot: "Tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!
Do you have the airfield in sight?"
Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.