In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: So he could pass the milkyway.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place.
A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal.
Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
This guy walks into a bar and sits down on a stool and places a bottle of prescribe medication on the bar, the man sitting next to him says, "What is that?"
The guy says, "These are smart pills," you take one and it makes you smarter.
The half drunk man says, "Your joking aren't you? and the guy says, "No I am not."
So the drunk says to the bar tender, "Give a large glass of beer."
The drunk opens the bottle and takes a pill and washes it down.
A few minutes later the drunk says, "I don't feel smarter." and the guy says, "Well some people require more than one pill."
So the drunk takes another pill and washes it down and few minutes later he says, "I still don't feel any smarter.
So the drunk says, "Hey,let me see those pills," the drunk takes a pill and smells it and says," it smells like shit and he tastes it and says, "It tastes like shit."
The guy says, "See! your getting smartes allready."
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool?
A hip hopper.
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
Yo mama so fat when she fell on my iPod it became an iPad.
Vote:
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.