Best jokes ever

Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Vote: has 59.71 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Yo mama
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
Vote: has 59.61 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Vote: has 59.60 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 59.49 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
Q: Why does California have so many destructive earthquakes and Alabama has black people? A: California got first pick.
Vote: has 59.49 % from 161 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, weather
Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole? A: You swerve around the pothole.
Vote: has 59.49 % from 267 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people
I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
Vote: has 59.46 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy? A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
Vote: has 59.46 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Vote: has 59.41 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
Vote: has 59.41 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty


<<<785786787788
More jokes →
Page 785 of 1380.