Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honour.
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day?
Cutting edge.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Vote:
Yo momma’s so ugly, if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow.
A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement:
"Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A: It's called Sosumi.