The retired man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over.
Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor replies, "OK.
Touch your elbow."
The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doctor, surprised, then states, "Touch your head."
The guy touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Everywhere the guy touches he hurts like hell.
The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. and tells the guy to come back in two days.
Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, "We've found your problem."
"Oh yeah?
What is it?" asks the retiree.
The Doctor remarks, "You've broken your finger!"
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew?
A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
Vote:
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself....
Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
What is a bunny's favorite music?
Hip-hop.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
Translator.
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.