Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
What is a bunny's favorite music?
Hip-hop.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
Translator.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought the Blizzard of '96 was a new item at Dairy Queen!
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.