Best jokes ever

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 54.30 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
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has 54.28 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, racist, work
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels. "Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere.I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done." "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
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