Yo' mama so poor, she fills her ice trays with toilet water!
Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
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A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers.
He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."
"But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor.
"Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set.
"If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?"
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?"
He promptly replied, "Another train."
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