What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
It was mealtime during a flight on Blonde Airlines. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost.
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!