Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
Lady goes to her doc. "Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type. The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
Two protons walk into the bar and run into each other. One of them falls down. "Are you OK?" asks the other. "I think so," says the proton. "You sure?" the other asks. "Yeah," says the proton..."I'm positive."
I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she can sit on a lollipop and guess its flavor.
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I ll get you next slime.
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon? A creature that stinks to high heaven.
A man walks into the doctors and the doctor says, "I've not seen you for a while." The man replies, "Yes, I've been ill."