Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries."
The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?"
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit.
Finally the bee turned around and flew away.
Why?
The rabbit had two b's already.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
There was a trucker riding along on a highway, While riding he sees a priest on the side of the road sticking his thumb out trying to catch a ride.
So out of curtisy the trucker stops and picks up the priest.
They start chatting and having a good time.
On the way they see a homeless person on the side of the street.
The truckers veers off and hits the homeless person. *bu-dump* the trucker sees homeless person,*bu-dump* the driver who is laughing histerically wasn't watching the road and there was another bu-dump, The driver immediatly stops and looks around nervous."what was that?" he looks at the priest and the priest looks back.
"You missed a homeless guy, but don't worry I got him with the door."
A couple walked into the supermarket.
They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted.
The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets.
He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them.
The husband looked confused again.
He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?”
The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.”
The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered.
"What?" asked the clerk.
"Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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