When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no I-Deer.
Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."