Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered.
Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
You're so ugly, Yo' Mama had to be drunk to breastfeed you.
Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ?
Doctor: I deal with you later.
How do you get a Mexican chick to blow you?
You decorate your wiener with leaves.
Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.
Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.