Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Yo' Mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
What is height of Activelaziness? Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
Q: What do you call a woman with no a**hole? A: Divorced.
Yo' Mama is so dumb, she got fired from a blow job.
For our daughters 5th birthday we bought her a rabbit. We couldn’t help laughing when on the way she announced "the rabbit’s name is Sparingly." "How do you know?" I asked "look" she responded "it says “feed sparingly 3 times daily."
Lady goes to her doc. "Doc, I have quite the problem. I can't control my gas. All day long I'm farting and farting. The only good news is they are the 'silent but deadly' type. The Doc pauses for a moment and replies, "first let's get you fitted for a hearing aid."
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.