Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town.
What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”