Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car?
A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.