Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course?
A: The 19th hole.
Two gay men are walking down the street trying to bum a ride.
A truck driver picks them up.
After a while the first gay man asked in a very gay voice, "Please sir can I fart?"
The truck driver then says, "Yeah sure who cares."
So the gay guy goes "POOF".
Then the second gay man asks if he can fart. The truck driver says he doesn't care and the second gay man went ''poof''.
Then the big truck driver goes to the gay men and says, "Ok gentlemen can I fart?"
The gay men say right on and the truckdriver lets it blow.
The fart was huge and smelly and loud.
The gay men then say, "He is obviously a virgin."
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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.
“I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.”
The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.”
The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.”
She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house?
A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience.
Between five it’s fantastic!’
Woody Allen
My dad died on 9-11.
He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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