When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
Q: Two men are in a car. One of them is a Mexican while the other is black. Who is driving the car? A: The cops.