Yo Momma's so fat she uses an air balloon for parachute.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
Yo Momma's so fat that when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing "We are family…!"