Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Judge Claudia Jordan of Denver slipped a message to her clerk during a trial.
The note said: “Blind on the right side. May be falling. Please call someone.”
The clerk called 9-1-1.
She told the judge not to worry, help was on the way.
The judge made a noise.
“I wanted someone from maintenance,” she said.
The trouble was the window blinds on the courtroom’s right side.
The judge appologized to the paramedics when they arrived.
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Chuck Norris can finish a Super Mario game with just one arrow key.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib?
A: A snowmobile!
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"
The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.