Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Someone just knocked on the door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans. I said "Fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
I fell in love with my wife at second sight. The first time I didn’t know she had money.
Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
I met a sista once who told me she could tell how good a brotha is in bed simply by the way he opens the door to his apartment. So, I asked her how. She said if that brotha fumbles with the keys, that means he doesn't know what he's doing. If he opens the door too quick, means he's too fast and he's a total waste of time. But if that brotha opens the door with a smooth, controlled movement, that means he's real good in bed. Then she asked me how I open the door to my apartment. I told her, "Honey, I lick the lock first."
Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.