Best jokes ever

A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: school
A woman come to a doctor, with bumps and bruising all over her body. The woman complains that it was her husband, who beat her. Doctor tells in surprise: "I thought your husband was out of town." "So did I..."
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: cop, hunting
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: drug, political, weed
A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling "Who’s been screwing my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don’t have enough ammo, mate!"
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has 52.38 % from 325 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, wife
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, sex
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