Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul.
It's a myth.
Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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It was tough for me, got caught up: cutting class, drinking, smoking, gambling, raping and pillaging the town.
What I'm trying to tell you is the fifth grade was hell for me, alright?
Yo mama so fat even Donald Trump can't make as big of a wall as her.
Yo mama so ugly when she smiles her face hurts.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Q: Did you hear about the new black breakfast cereal?
A: It's called "Nuttin' Bitch!"
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