Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos. That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world... Including himself.
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.