Chuck gives the sun the chills.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.