Chuck gives the sun the chills.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.