Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude.
The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs.
The nun realized this.
She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?"
The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’
Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’
Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
Three statisticians go out hunting together.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit.
The first statistician takes aim and overshoots.
The second aims and undershoots.
The third shouts out "We got him!"
A school in the United States is on fire.
One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them.
After half of an hour the upper fireman asks:
Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids?
Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
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Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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"Grandpa, grandpa! I'm watching a soccer game!"
Grandpa: "Who's playing?"
Grandson: "Austria-Hungary."
Grandpa: "Against who?"
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100.
So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?."
The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
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