A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'
The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
Three statisticians go out hunting together.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit.
The first statistician takes aim and overshoots.
The second aims and undershoots.
The third shouts out "We got him!"
A school in the United States is on fire.
One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them.
After half of an hour the upper fireman asks:
Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids?
Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
Vote:
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Vote:
Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
Vote:
In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
Vote:
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Vote:
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100.
So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?."
The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."