Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
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