What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call
You momma's teeth are so nasty the b*tch spits yoohoo.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Why did the blond speed on the highway? Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
Q: What do you call a black light? A: A mixed person that shines too bright.
Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.