Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Yo mama so fat that when she played Xbox live you can see her face sticking out of your tv screen.