A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."
Where are you going for vacation this year? I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.