Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch?
A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper?
So she can lip read.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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