Yo mama so fat the only liquor she knows is liquorice.
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch?
A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!