A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber.
"That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What?
Are you crazy?
The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Chuck Norris is the only person that can deliver a roundhouse kick in full 1080p, remember that the next time you watch Walker Texas Ranger in Blu-Ray.
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Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself.
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What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
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Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers.
And wins.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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