Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she smashed open her TV hoping to find a TV dinner.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she voted for a pit bull wearing lipstick.
Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island. The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door. ‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead. The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she did a cartwheel, she kicked an angel in the nuts.
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.