What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
Dough Nuts!
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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One day a mom and her son went to the zoo.
There they saw two monkeys having sex.
The son asked "What are they doing?".
The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?" "Making frosting" she said.
Later that night he saw there mom doing it.
In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill?
A mudslide.
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
Q. Why don't little girls fart?
A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Q: What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?
A: Can I help you pack your shit?
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today?
A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
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Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend.
‘Y’ know,’ he says.
‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student.
‘Well,’ replies Nigel.
‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
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