Best jokes ever

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
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More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
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More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, travel
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
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More jokes about: lawyer
Yo momma’s so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
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More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to his feet and screams, ‘I’m melting! I’m melting…!’
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More jokes about: lawyer