Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?
A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch?
A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper?
So she can lip read.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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