Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.