Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch...
He saw it 3 times a day.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Man: Hello, my computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there's nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
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