I drink so much alcohol I’m afraid to smoke.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her crabs ride dune buggies.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses transport trucks as roller skates.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris is an action verb.
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Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
A: The cost.
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While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
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The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why!
Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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