Yo momma’s so fat, ‘Place Your Ad Here’ is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
There was a man who had at least four to five drinks of whisky every day of his adult life.
When he died, they cremated him, and it took two days to put out the fire!
They say whisky and petrol don’t mix.
They do, but it doesn’t taste nice.
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
I drink so much alcohol I’m afraid to smoke.
Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is an action verb.
Vote:
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her crabs ride dune buggies.