Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul." I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening." The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life." I have asked her only: "for my money?"
My wife asked if I would give it to her "doggy style." So I took a dump on the floor and chewed up her shoes.