Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws.
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to his feet and screams, ‘I’m melting! I’m melting…!’
Chuck Norris' Motto is: "The beard is mightier than the sword."
Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."