Best jokes ever

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."
Vote:
has 81.71 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, cowboy, geography, horse
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
Vote:
has 81.71 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, death, doctor
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote:
has 81.71 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money
3 guys walk into a bar The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world" The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world" The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world" The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world" The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?
Vote:
has 81.71 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Vote:
has 81.70 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary? A: Because the river was too mainstream.
Vote:
has 81.69 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: hipster
Yesterday I tried to catch fog. Mist.
Vote:
has 81.69 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: life
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
Vote:
has 81.69 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Vote:
has 81.67 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Josh: What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning? John: A visitor.
Vote:
has 81.65 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: women
<<<94959697
More jokes →
Page 94 of 1391.