Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair?
A: He gets disoriented!
What''s the difference between a gay rodeo and a straight rodeo?
At a straight rodeo everyone yells, "Ride that sucker"
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
It seemed that the son of a Spanish lawyer graduated from college and was considering the future.
He went to his father, who had a very large office, and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner where he could observe his father's activities.
He could be introduced to his father's clients as a clerk.
This way, he could decide on whether or not to become a lawyer.
His father thought this to be a splendid idea, and this arrangement was set up immediately.
On his son's first day at work, the first client in the morning was a rough-hewn man with calloused hands, in workman's attire, who began the conversation as follows: "Mr. Lawyer, I work for some people named Gonzales who have a ranch on the east side of town.
For many years I have tended their crops and animals, including some cows.
I have raised, the cows, tended them, fed them, and it has always been my understanding and belief that I was the owner of the cows.
Mr. Gonzales died and his son has inherited the farm, and he believes that since the cows were raised on his ranch and fed on his hay, the cows are his.
In short, we have a dispute as to the ownership of the cows." The lawyer said, "I have heard enough.
I will take your case.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" After the tenant farmer left, the next client came in.
A young, well-dressed man, clearly a member of the landed class.
"My name is Gonzales.
I own a farm on the east side of the town," he said.
"For many years, a tenant farmer has worked for my family tending the crops and animals, including some cows.
The cows have been raised on my land and fed on my hay, and I believe that they belong to me, but the tenant farmer believes that since he raised them and cared for them, they are his.
In short, we have a dispute over ownership of the cows."
"I heard enough. I'll take your case.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!"
After the client left, the son came over to his father with a look of concern.
"My father, I know nothing of the law, but it seems to me that we have a serious problem regarding these cows."
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" said the lawyer. "The cows will be ours!"
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather.
Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea?
He thought he was melting.
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
An evening of Valentine's Day.
A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!"
"Sorry, we are sold out..."