How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
My mama would whip my butt so bad in the grocery store, they would announce it on the speakers.
Chuck Norris once joined the Army. That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger? Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.