Best jokes ever

A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling "Who’s been screwing my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don’t have enough ammo, mate!"
Vote: has 52.99 % from 316 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, marriage, wife
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
Vote: has 52.98 % from 112 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Vote: has 52.98 % from 112 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, Hitler, racist
There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. There is a lot of sushi in my country. Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. There is too much love in my country. Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. There is too much taco in my country. Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says: There are too much Mexicans in my country.
Vote: has 52.96 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, racist
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. "Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro. "Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup" the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again. The retiree replied, "Oh great! NOW you tell me!"
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: game, golf, old people
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Yo mama
Why does Santa have such a big sac? Because he only cums once a year
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
These two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog across the streets licking its own nuts. First guy says "Man, sure wish I could do that." Second says "I dunno, I think I'd pet him first."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, kids


<<<969970971972
More jokes →
Page 969 of 1380.