It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.