It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard. They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.