Best jokes ever

Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
Vote: has 51.45 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote: has 51.43 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, communication, little Johnny, teacher
How do you get a nigger out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Vote: has 51.40 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, its Thursday!” Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
Vote: has 51.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, old people, weather
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs. "Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?" "Just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he's not going to notice you." Sure enough, Marge's husband crawled into bed, but as he pulled up the covers, he exposed six feet. "Honey!" he yelled. "What the hell is going on? I see six feet at the end of the bed!" "Dear, you're so drunk, you can't count. If you don't believe me, count them again." The husband got out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. By damn, you're right, dear."
Vote: has 51.39 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drunk, god, husband, marriage
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 51.36 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honour.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal