Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies?
A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.
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Yo mama so stupid, she dropped off her phone because it stopped.
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision?
A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet.
Why?
Dirt knows better.
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What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Once an email was sent from LA to Washington.
Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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