When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
Because they have pubes on their heads!
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Nigel, a college student is talking to a friend.
‘Y’ know,’ he says.
‘I think my room-mate is queer.’ ‘Why d’you say that?’ asks the student.
‘Well,’ replies Nigel.
‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes.’
Q: Two men are in a car. One of them is a Mexican while the other is black. Who is driving the car?
A: The cops.
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Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
What leads most people into debt?
Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
A feminist walks into a bar that has a sign marked: ‘For Men Only.’
‘I’m sorry, ma’am,’ says the bartender.
‘We only serve men in this place.’
‘That’s OK,’ she says. ‘I’ll take two of them.’