George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock.
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.