Best jokes ever

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Vote: has 80.94 % from 170 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Vote: has 80.94 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Vote: has 80.94 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Girl: "Is that you or the beer talking?" Boy: "It's me talking to the beer."
Vote: has 80.94 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Vote: has 80.94 % from 176 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, gym
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.
Vote: has 80.93 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
You're living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You know what that means? You Matter.
Vote: has 80.93 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Vote: has 80.93 % from 1285 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, math, racist
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."
Vote: has 80.92 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Vote: has 80.92 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, math