Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Yo momma’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island. The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door. ‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead. The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."