The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?"
"Yes, I was. So what?"
"Were you sitting on the table?"
"Yeah, why?"
The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!"
"But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders.
"Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Vote:
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house.
They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says,
"Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died?
A: A black widow.
Vote:
Susie was having her monthly bleeding and she asked little johnny for his advice!!
Little johnny Said Well i think i figured out ur problem!!!!
SOME RIPPED OFF YOUR BALLS
Vote:
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
‘I’m a bad lover.
Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’
Rodney Dangerfield