A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Two blonde football fans are walking along the road when one of them picks up a mirror.
He looks in it and says, 'Hey, I know that person!'
The second one picks it up and says, 'Of course you do, you idiot, it's me'.
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Yo mamma so fat that why people think the earth is flat.
Yo mama so hairy she braids her elbows.
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Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon.
If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
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