Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
How long does it take a black lady to shit? About 9 months.
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds? Because they have pubes on their heads!
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
"Football is a game when 22 big, strong players run around like crazy for two hours while 50,000 people who really need the exercise sit in the stands and watch them."
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."