Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
Vote:
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Vote:
Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Vote:
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
Vote:
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Vote:
"Where are you going to take Vampira on your date?" asked one vampire.
"Oh, I thought we'd go to the movies, and then get a quick bite."
Vote: