Best jokes ever

"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?" "It's over!" "Over? Why, what happened?" "We got married..."
Vote: has 51.86 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, marriage
A young lad is sitting at the table doing his homework. Dad, he says, "What is the difference between 'potentially' & 'realistically'"? Father scratches his chin, inhales sharply and says,"That's a tough one; it's probably easier to demonstrate. Go & ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid; then ask your sister the same question" ... 2 minutes later, the lad is back. "Dad, they both said for 1 million quid...? Definitely!" Well son, says the old man, "There is your answer; potentially, we are sitting on 2 million quid; realistically, we are living with a pair of slags..!
Vote: has 51.86 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, marriage, work
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."
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More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife
Yo mama is so black when she went outside the street lights turned on!
Vote: has 51.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 51.81 % from 100 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
How do you get a nigger out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Vote: has 51.78 % from 118 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
Vote: has 51.78 % from 176 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, weed
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, marriage
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
Vote: has 51.70 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, communication, ethnic, sex, stupid


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