Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
What do you call a black woman who got an abortion? A member of crimestoppers of america.
Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.