A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!”
The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?”
“No, I drove here.”
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet.
Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you."
Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!"
Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her.
Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ?
He had to work it out with a pencil...
What is a black persons's worst fear?
Child Support.
The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
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What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.
"Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!"
My wife has given me a reason to live – revenge.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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