Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Happy Valentine's Day.
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Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
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Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs?
A: An invalid.
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What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow.
No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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