"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
A nigger was walking naked on the beach at the nudists. He’s got tattooed on his dick his wife’s name WENDY. Suddenly he sees a white guy with something written on his dick and asks him: You have written your wife name too? No, I’m responsible for the tourists. So when my dick is on erection it reads:”WELCOME TO MIAMI BEACH. HAVE A NICE DAY!”
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!