The best alcohol jokes

How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life
This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Drinking a non-alcoholic beer is like muffing your sister, it tastes the same but something's not right about it.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer
Q:How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking? A:He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out. A couple of weeks later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A guy is sitting at the bar watching the game and enjoying his beer. Another guy strolls over and they begin to converse. After a while the second asks if he had ever played "beer football?" He said no, and asked how to play. "Well, if you chug a beer, you get 6 points, and if you bend over and fart, you get an extra point." So, the second guy starts off by chugging his beer and farting. The first man chugged his beer with ease, and when he bent over to fart, the second guy came up and kicked him in the butt and exclaimed, "BLOCK THE KICK!"
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!". The grasshopper says "Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!".
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
I can tell when my wife drinks. Her face gets blurred.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse... And his favorite drink is punch...
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, Chuck Norris, life
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