The best alcohol jokes

Why beer goes through your system so fast? Because it does not have to stop to change color.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly. Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?" "I haven't got any money!"
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!". The grasshopper says "Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!".
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
I can tell when my wife drinks. Her face gets blurred.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Did you hear about the drunk who thought Alcoholics Anonymous meant drinking under an assumed name?
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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