The best animal jokes

One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
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One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
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Q. What do frogs do with paper? A. Rip-it!
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A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Vote: has 46.83 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, racist, teacher
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
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More jokes about: animal, elephant
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
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What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew.
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More jokes about: animal