What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"