The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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has 47.19 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
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