The best animal jokes

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
Vote:
has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, desert island, dog, time
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do you shoot a great white shark? Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, food
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
Vote:
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
<<<106107108109
More jokes →
Page 106 of 153.