The best animal jokes

You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, duck
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, work
Q. Why are fish so smart? Q. Why are fish so smart A. Because they swim in schools!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
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