The best animal jokes

A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom. Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation. "What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks. "Huey," answers the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh, that's nice," says the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?". "Dewey," comes the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, duck
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, history, school
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Vote: has 49.86 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, military
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fat, sex, Yo mama
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fart
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god
How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal


<<<106107108109
More jokes →
Page 106 of 150.