The best animal jokes

‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Vote:
has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Vote:
has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Vote:
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Vote:
has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
<<<106107108109
More jokes →
Page 106 of 153.