The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?"
"Yes, I was. So what?"
"Were you sitting on the table?"
"Yeah, why?"
The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!"
"But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders.
"Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
Vote:
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher.
Then, the bear climbed down and went away.
So the guy starts to climb down the tree.
Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him.
The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first.
But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.
Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again.
Suddenly, the two bears return.
But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.
Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Vote:
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.