‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. "Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him. "How do I do that?" he asked. "Carefully," replied the vet.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard. I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg. That'll blow his little mind.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"