The best animal jokes

On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, history, school
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
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