Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.