The best animal jokes

You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, insulting, women
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, communication
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
"Does your dog bite?" "No." (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him) "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" "That is not my dog."
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
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