Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!"
"There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time.
My fee, of course, will be $1,500."
Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
The T. Rexes were all angry.
You know why?
Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands!
How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate?
That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered.
Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
Vote:
What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.