The best animal jokes

Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, work
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, stupid, Yo mama
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand? A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
Vote: has 41.82 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, racist
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
Vote: has 41.18 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, money