The best animal jokes

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
Vote: has 44.84 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
Vote: has 44.62 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal