The best animal jokes

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, love
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, teen
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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has 44.61 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
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has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
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has 44.50 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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