Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!