The best animal jokes

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography, Thanksgiving
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
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has 43.42 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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