The best animal jokes

Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
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A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
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How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
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What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
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A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting