The best animal jokes

How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Vote: has 43.63 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

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A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
Vote: has 43.52 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 43.43 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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