The best animal jokes

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
‘Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, science
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
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has 44.07 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
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has 43.63 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, insulting, women
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