The best animal jokes

An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Vote: has 38.99 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Vote: has 38.99 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

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Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad