An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.