A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator.
Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal.
I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.
The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed.
If it works, everyone buys me drinks."
The crowd agrees.
The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth.
Gator closes mouth.
After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head.
The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks.
Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."
After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
It's a woman.
"I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
I just watched a squirrel bury a nut in my front yard.
I'm going to dig it up and replace it with a Cadbury egg.
That'll blow his little mind.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt?
Tricera-bottoms.
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.