How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
Why was the horse all charged up?
It ate some haywire!
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts!
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.
For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk.
The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.
For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk.
The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.
For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk.
However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.
As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
What did the cow wear to the football game?
A Jersey.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.